Reaching out

Staying when I should go
Loving when I should hate

Paralysis of indecision
Numbs my mind 

I ask why happiness 
eludes my grasp 
But I fail to see 
My feet, rooted too deep, 
limit my reach



© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Sweet Pain Of Love

A heart full of love
keeps me whole
though it beats
in fragments
you left it in

Each shard
pierces
my thoughts
with an
exquisite agony
I cherish

This sweet pain
is all I have
left of you



© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Walking away

I smiled and laughed 
with nonchalant ease 
I even indulged 
in witty repartee
You were amused 
It made me proud 
You nursed your drink 
I was reckless 
I teetered 
as I rose to leave 
You put out your hand 
I clung too long 
We went 
our separate ways 
I waited 
for you to look back 
but you kept going 
Your brisk steps 
trod on my heart 
breaking it 
into a million pieces 
once again


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Emotions

Some emotions
are claimed by silence
falling between heartbeats
embedded in the flesh
becoming part of you
                              
Some silences
speak louder than words
echoing in your ears
till they drown out
sane voices of your mind   

                

Some voices
whisper through 

your senses
speaking a language
only the heart understands
changing your life
with their meaning

Some hearts
stop beating
betrayal breaks
their rhythm
throwing them
into a vortex of despair
Spinning them
into a world 

without emotions


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Stolen Moments

The clock ticks
inexorably towards
the the time that
we must part
Relentlessly moving
hands of my watch
tighten their grip
on my pleasure
turning it to pain
as I realise
you will soon leave
and I will again
count the seconds
till we can be
together

I have never
been good
with numbers
yet I know
exactly how
many minutes
must pass before
we meet next

(10,080, that's how many)

They add up
to one week apart
One week
full of minutes
I would give away
for free
if it could buy me
more hours with you

And yet
I wonder
sometimes
If I had
those hours
I want
so desperately
what would I do
with them

These treasured
moments
precious
because
they are
stolen from life
But if they became
life itself
would they lose
their lustre?


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Desire

I lie sated
tangled sheets twisted in desire
wrapped around my heated body
that still thrums to your tune
My languid eyes
follow your sinuous steps
drinking in the wonder
of your sinewy beauty
as you pick up clothes
shed in a hurry
I hold out a hand
in mute appeal
wanting to hold you close
be warmed by your heat
You turn
and your chiselled strength
takes my breath away
a wave of fresh longing
sweeps through me
I want to feel
your breath on my skin
your lips on every inch of me
I want to writhe and shake
shiver my way to ecstatic release
But once is all we have time for
You leave
transformed into
a respectable stranger
I must wait
until tomorrow's stolen tryst


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Till We Meet Again

I watch you
when I know
you're not looking
I long to reach out
and  touch the smile
that lingers at the
curve of your lips
My fingers ache to
smooth the creases
that crinkle
at the corner
of your eyes
My hands
want to cradle
your beloved face
and look deep
into your soul
My eyes cry out
to gaze into yours
so you can see
my heart belongs to you
But I sit still
You are not mine
to have and hold
in this life 
So I hope
we will meet again
when it will be our time
for I know
that my love
will endure
across the ages


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Dear Dad

He never held out his arms to me
or swung me high
He never sat me on his knee
and told me funny stories
He never tickled me
into a fit of giggles
and never hugged me tight
when I wept

I would have liked 
to squeal with delight
when he threw me 
up in the air
secure in knowing 
he would always catch me

I would have liked 
to hold his hand
and skip along merrily
messily slurping ice cream 
and have him gently 
wipe my grubby hands

I would have liked to have
fond memories 
of wonderful times 
spent with him

I would have liked 
to love him
but to me he was a stranger
brooding, dark, fearful
Not knowing 
what would annoy him
I stayed out of his way

I would have liked to be
Daddy’s little girl
But I never really knew
my father while he lived
and death 
was just another way
of losing him


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Happiness

Reaching out

falling short

slipping through

my grasp

An eclipse

hides the sun

just when

the rays

were breaking 

through the gloom

A mirage

shimmering 

in front of me

then vanishing

just when 

parched lips

longed 

to be drenched

Happiness

a vision

that tantalises

then eludes

just when

it looked
within reach


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Drawn To You

I am the moth 
that flutters 
perilously close 
I choose to perish 
in the heat of your flame
than live a life 
unwarmed by passion 

I am the fly 
that surrenders 
to your web 
Trapped in 
your silken strands 
I relish the sweet agony 
freedom doesn't possess

I am the prey 
that walks willingly 
into your snare 
Death at your hands 
liberates me 
from the uncertainty 
of escape

I am the love 
you'll never know 
A lifetime spent 
in unrequited ardour 
fulfils me more 
than a union
without desire

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Let Me Tell You

Your face is etched 
in my heart
My love buried deep 
in words 
you may never read
Desire seeps into flesh
that may never feel 
the touch 
of your hand
In my veins 
runs the blood 
your thoughts 
set aflame
reducing me 
to ashes
You are not to blame
for I have hidden 
my feelings
under a cloak 
of indifference
Now they fight 
to the fore
Now I want 
every inch
of my skin
to declare my love
so should you gaze 
upon my body
when I am gone
you can see 
what you meant to me
and my soul can rest 
knowing you now know
what I could never tell you

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Memories

Looking through my little book of memories
I found the letter you wrote me
The edges frayed the words faded
But once it was fresh and new
Just like the love you said you had for me
I read it countless times
Until the words danced before my eyes
and I twirled along
carried away on the wings of your passion
I can't live without you, you wrote
and life seemed endless
Every minute apart is a lifetime, you claimed
And I saw time crawl
My love is as deep as the ocean, you swore
And the waters parted to embrace me
Every cliché was a newly minted promise
glinting like gold that is now dross
worthless like your promises
that have lost their sheen
You do live without me
The lifetime apart has drowned me
in a deluge of minutes
I crumple the words in my fist
And they crumble like your love did


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Packets of Hope

I walk by him every day
this man who sits in his wheelchair
bandaged stumps sticking out
proudly defiant
He holds out tissue packets
hoping someone will spare a dollar
Some stop
press a coin in his palm
and go on their way

I do too
but he sits inside
my head now

I see this couple
blind and old
their only support
is each other
and the tissue packets
they wave in the air
hoping someone
will buy them 
for whatever 
they can spare
They fumble 
for the money
a sightless smile
flits across their faces
Some tap them 
on their arm

I do too
but they stay
in my vision now

I notice this boy
young and crippled
slumped on the floor
defeat etched
in every drooping line
of his broken body
He clutches 
tissue packets
so tightly
there is no room 
in his hand
for the coin
he so desperately wants
His eyes gaze
at the pitiful haul
on the tattered cloth
spread in front of him
Some stop to drop a bill
ignore the tissues
and stride away

I do too
but he walks
with me now

Waiting to be used
and discarded
packets of tissues
pile up in my bag
not so different
from all these people
selling them

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Oh, She Of Many Moods

She’s a lady of many moods
This river that runs by my house

Some days she’s joyful

shining like the sun
Glittering like diamonds
rippling and swaying in the breeze 

Mesmerized by her playful flow
I long to be enveloped 

in her cool arms

And meander along with her 

to wherever it is she’s going

But she’s mercurial
this lady of many moods
that change without warning
When she slows
I see the deep greys and browns
Of a soul weighed down 
By a heavy burden
Weary of the journey
She longs to stop and rest
But she soldiers on 
in solitary splendor
keeping me at a distance

with her aloof demeanour


Oh, this lady of many moods
many hues, many forms
that follow the seasons
In the summer 

she is a mere trickle
baring herself to all eyes
The monsoon draws 

a cloak of rain over her
and soon 

she is rushing headlong
sweeping everything 

in her wake 
Evoking awe and fear 

in those who behold her might

The skies clear 

she calms down 
and flows gently again
giving life and hope

though the end 

is now in sight

She empties herself 

into the ocean

losing her soul

but living forever


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Seasons of Love

In the first flush of spring

love unfurls

in two hearts that zing

as romance sings 

the tune of birdsong

Under the summer sun

passion ignites 

setting scented skin 

aflame with desire 

engulfing two souls

Vibrant shades of fall

colour the bond

with russet and gold
as feelings grow
and sink deep roots

A crisp winter's day
unites lovers
forever as heaven
showers blessings
in pure pristine white

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

No Getting Away

I rush on to the platform 

with a minute to spare

I know I must get away

I don't care where

I jump on to the train

That’s about to leave

I hope it’s a long journey

I need time to grieve

As the wheels turn and gather pace

The scene begins to blur outside

Is it the speed of the train

Or do my tears obscure the sight

The tracks run on through the dark

mirroring the blackness inside

The carriages rattle and sway

Masking the silence that I hide

I got off life’s merry-go-round

And got on for a ride of another kind

I wanted to go as far as I can

And clear the cobwebs of my mind

But I realize there’s no getting away

From all your problems and cares

Even if you go to the end of the earth

They will still follow you there

So I get off at the next station

And cross to the opposite platform

I know I’ll find all the answers

When I make my way back home


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Secrets

A secret walks 
the tightrope 
of trust 
high above 
the valley 
of silence 

Leaving 
the embrace 
of soul's soil 
it teeters 
grows stronger 
with each step 
across the chasm 

Warm gusts 
of steamy 
temptations 
rock a balance 
painstakingly 
acquired 
from years 
of walking 
a fine line 
between 
too much telling 
and not enough 

Will a secret 
stay hidden 
or spill its seeds 
burying 
a relationship 
under its 
dead weight

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Sometimes...

Sometimes you don't need
a flaming torch to show you the way
The flickering light from a lamp
is enough

Sometimes you don't need
a blazing fire to warm your heart
A gentle hug from a friend
is enough

Sometimes you don't need
riches galore to live a good life
A loving family and a happy home
is enough

Sometimes you don't need
luck to get what you want
Faith in your ability and hard work
is enough

Sometimes you don't need
to wander far and wide to find fulfilment
Just looking into your soul
is enough

Sometimes you need to know
the more you hold on
the less you have
and sometimes,
you just need to let go

© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

The Thaw

A heart so cold 
it is warmed 
by the touch  
of frosty splinters 
A frozen wasteland 
of neglect  
buried in disdain’s 
snowy drifts 
it struggles 
to draw breath 

Somewhere 
in its sluggish beats 
memories 
of warmer climes 
keep it alive 
but only just enough 
to remember a time 
when it soared 
on the wings of love 
rode the warm currents 
of affection 
As passion’s fire 
ran in its veins 
it roared 
pumped 
leapt 
in the throes 
of fiery lust 

Now it waits 
devoid of affection 
in this unending 
barren landscape 
It longs to thaw 
with a tender touch 
melt in a blazing embrace 
bask in ardour’s warmth 
burn in desire’s flames 
explode in incandescent heat 
then dissolve 
like the ice 
around it 


© 2013 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved