Growing Up

I remember 
the first time 
I held you 
a warm
squirming bundle 
thrust into 
an unfamiliar world

I forgot
wide-awake nights 
spent rocking you 
to sleep 
your ceaseless wails 
driving me to tears

I remember
holding my breath
as you took
your first halting steps
and tumbled into 
my waiting arms

I forgot 
the knife-edge of fear
plunging into me
every time I thought
of you breaking free
to forge your own path

I remember 
my heart 
swell with pride 
as I watched 
my little girl grow 
into a young woman

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Coming Home

Another day's toil
is finally done
I lie on the plank of wood
that is my bed
A sore arm pillows
my weary head
but sleep evades
 my burning eyes
I count the coins
I have earned
They are not enough yet 
to bring me home to you
I fear they will never be

The black dust of the mines
is embedded in my limbs
I imagine it is your dark hair
entwined around me
The whites of my eyes gleam
like your fair skin
In the red I cough up
I see the rich earth
I used to till
Just as I watched the crop
grow tall and strong
do you watch
over our little one

Are her eyes are as green
as the bushes I planted
around our little house
her hair as red 
as the bricks I used
to build it
Do you tell her daddy
will come home soon
Does she sit with you
and gaze at the path
that winds its way 
through the fields
hoping to catch
a glimpse of me

A veil is drawn 
gently over my eyes
I am striding through
the lands that once were mine
soaring on the wind
through the blue skies 
I know so wellI 
I can see the blossoms
framing our humble abode
You are standing by 
the little brown gate
I see the love shining
in your steadfast eyes
as you try to hold on
to the writhing tot
straining to escape 
your grasp 
and run towards me
I drop to my knees 
hold out my arms
so I can hold 
my little one close
for the first time

As the  breath leaves my body
The coins tumble unheeded
from my lifeless hands
It doesn't matter...
I am back where I belong
I've finally come home

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Drifting

I will be fine, I say, weaving the reluctant words
into a blanket of pretence I wrap around myself 
not noticing the shroud of silence that it has become

I see myself as a romantic recluse
turning my back on the harsh truths
that will illuminate the lies I tell myself

The seclusion I profess to embrace with such ardour
silently digs its fangs into me, filling me with venom 
that poisons the courage I need to get through each day

The walls I've built crowd menacingly around me
The solitude I once craved is suffocating
All I have done is set myself adrift in an empty world

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Find Your Path

You're in a hurry 
to go beyond 
the confines 
of the only world 
you've known 

I understand 
There still are bonds 
I strain to break 

You've had your 
first taste of freedom 
enjoyed the thrill 
of discovery

I understand 
its seductive appeal 
I still dream 
of being free 
to follow my heart

You pull away 
willing to forsake 
familiar comforts 
to savour the thrill 
of the unknown

I understand 
I still look 
for a new passion 
to jolt me 
out of the rut 

Where once 
I fretted 
unwilling to let you 
out of my sight
I now realise 
the time has come 
to step aside 

I won't hold you back 
for I know 
you need to fly
And as you have grown
so have I 

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

In The Night

You come to me 
when deserted lanes 
are drenched 
in the shadows 
of our passion 
The moon 
a willing accomplice 
gently lights the path
for ours is a 
forbidden love 
lighting up the dark 
You step silently 
through the empty street 
Even the slightest sound 
can give us away 
The wind obligingly 
blows the other way 
All the windows 
are shut 
to keep out the cold 
I open mine 
to welcome your heat 
Every second with you 
sparkles like the stars 
Every minute 
is brighter than the sun 
We cannot stop time 
from ticking inexorably 
towards dawn 
but the night comes 
just for us

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

Set Me Free

Peace, like the leaves 
lying still on trees 
on an airless day, 
settles on my skin
A soothing warmth, 
absent while 
I struggled 
with unrequited feelings, 
returns
A welcome 
protective layer 
shielding me 
from the pinpricks of hurt 
your lack of attention 
inflicted on me
Nerves, shredded by 
incessantly fretting 
over you, 
blessedly numb 
The gap, between 
the times when 
I think of you, 
has stretched 
from minutes to hours
Almost a day 
has gone by 
You barely 
came to mind
If you stop 
visiting me 
in my dreams 
I will know 
I have finally 
left you behind

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved

So easy...

So easy to
dwell in possibility -- 
to say if only, 
& paint 
sunny scenarios
always ending
on a happy note

To say what if 
& visualise 
clear blue skies
unmarred by
clouds of doubt

So easy to
dwell in possibility —
So easy to 
lose touch 
with reality

© 2014 Uma Venkatraman ~ All Rights Reserved